Satisfying Relationships

Counselling and sex therapy for couples and individuals in Surrey


Common sexual problems and intimacy difficulties

Although sex usually is a source of great pleasure, it can also be the cause of significant stress between partners. It is not uncommon for people to lose interest in sex from time to time, often due to tiredness, stress and family demands, particularly after the birth of babies. If this situation is prolonged or partners find they have consistent differing levels of sexual desire then it can be a problem over the long term. Sex therapy can help with this and when there is no, or low level, desire and other problem areas of sexual functioning.

Common male problems are erectile dysfunction (used to be referred to as impotence), premature ejaculation or difficulty in achieving orgasm at all ( delayed ejaculation).

Common problems faced by women are vulval (vulvadynia or vestibulitis) or vaginal pain (dyspareunia) or difficulty in having intercourse (vaginismus), or difficulty in achieving orgasm (anorgasmia).

Over time couples may find that they no longer feel connected or intimate with each other, and most forms of affection can disappear, leaving one or both feeling rejected, unloved and isolated. This may lead to frustration, resentment and anger which, can overtime, destroy a loving relationship.

Another increasingly common problem these days is sexual addiction. This becomes a problem when the behaviour becomes compulsive. Examples can be compulsive masturbation, looking at porn, texting sex numbers, visiting prostitutes or having frequent affairs. What started as a casual interest can quickly escalate to an addiction. The compulsion to repeat the act can, in time, lead to guilt, self loathing, depression, secrecy, deceit, and financial loss, and can ruin many relationships, and even careers and family life, unless help is sought.

I can provide a treatment program that includes individual and couple therapy. Successful outcomes require commitment to the process and exercises, and a will to change.

Here are some organisations that offer group help:

I am a member of ATSAC (Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity).